Akanor: Tales From Necro Box Set Read online

  “Pardon?” said the Understudy.

  “A-a-aawll the information thaaaa-t has ever exis-ted is available to you, Markle. Did you know?” Robert moved his face from side to side. His lips were tingling. “You could search for our ancestors’ history and read it…like…try searching for ‘The Gestapo’ for a change, will you?”

  “You’re talking weird, honey. At any rate. That’s an ugly word. Gestapo,” said Markle, tasting the word. “I had never heard of it, dear. OK…OK. I’ll do it. Anicor, please search ‘The Gestapo.’”

  Markle blinked hard, grimacing while his OHP-I showed him an array of images and read him an accurate summary of his search inquiry.

  “Oh, by the dear cornfields of the North! Such horrible things you make me see! That Gestapo horrendous thing was long ago and very much detestable! How can you even think such things coincide with today’s reality? Robert…what in corn’s sake is going on with you? Please tell me! I’m so very much worried about you, my dear!” yelled Markle.

  “Well…that fucking Anicor we use is like the Gestapo. Can’t you see? We’re controlled no matter what we do!” said Robert. His entire face was tingling. The flap of fat under his chin was trembling. Markle noted Robert’s face had gone pale, his forehead sweating profusely.

  “But it’s OK, my dear,” reasoned Markle. “As long as we get the sweet deliciousness we’re fed daily, and such wonderful entertainment, it’s fine if they wish to monitor our every step. It’s a fair trade, I say. It’s for our own good anyway. Just look at the Offgridders, those insubordinates! Ungrateful bastards is what they are! Loyal to the remnants of a broken nation!”

  “Markle! For the love of any or whatever gods are out there, what are you saying! You’re a fooo….”

  The Actor’s eyes turned white. His head jerked backward, as if a gigantic hand had pushed him with force.

  Robert fell like a wooden doll, his plump body covered by the black dress he wore under his fur coat. His body was jerking, both legs and arms flinging wildly as his eyes remained all white.

  “Oh, he’s possessed! Anicor, do something!” yelled Markle.

  ***

  Robert came to. He lay on a white bed made of spiderweb fiber. He was wearing a hospital gown and nothing else.

  The organic bed engrossed his limbs and moved like the gut of a snake digesting its food. This advanced medical equipment kept his body fluids flowing. The device helped avoid the harm caused by lying over the same pressure points.

  “You’ve been out several days, Mr. Thorns,” said a female voice. It sounded like Anicor’s condescending vernacular. It also created within Robert the necessity to rebel against it.

  “Shut up, you rotten AI,” said Robert. He assumed someone had replaced his OHP-I. But as he willingly blinked and commanded the iTop to emerge, nothing happened. He said, “C’mon, you idiot, show me my iTop, I want to see my blood sugar level and my blood pressure read. Some music would be fine, too. Mozart’s 40th symphony. Play it! God damn you!”

  “Such anger. I am not your Anicor, Robert. I’m a lawyer sent by UniCorn to discuss with you the issues I will mention presently,” said the female voice. Her speech was like a whip gaining speed.

  Robert changed the bed’s angle with the controller at his bedside. As he rose into a seated position, he saw brown hair, then a shiny forehead, a small nose, and a small yet meaty pair of red lips.

  The woman’s body was perfect, with a handful of breasts and hips able to bear children for many decades. Childbearing, however, was delegated to artificial uteri. Only Offgridder women had natural births.

  Robert hadn’t had a woman in many months, had lost the taste for them after years of being chased by groupies. Lately, he had been interested in female androids, men, and inflatable animals. He had recently lost his libido, however. Yet right now, he felt a significant tingle between his legs, and if his personal AI were present, it would’ve detected his sexual interest. This was the first time in months Robert wanted to send another human an InstantSex request.

  “Umm…hello,” was all Robert was able to say. His eyes were wide open as he drank in the scene. He no longer had makeup on; it was washed off during his admission to the hospital. Robert was glad he had no emotional clothing on him. It would have shined with red, which was strangely the same color the clothing shined when a person was angry.

  “Good afternoon, Mr. Thorns. My name is Moshi Nikamaya,” said the woman.

  “Moshi Mo-moshi,” said Robert. He was tasting the name. It pleased him. He also noticed the woman had some Japanolatin descendance. But nowadays, every person possessed DNA from a common gene pool. Robert was sure his ancestors were a mixture between the Asian and the Latin American phenotype, meshed with western European genetics.

  “I came here to talk about your most recent emotional breakdown, Mr. Thorns,” said Moshi.

  “Ah, so it was reported by Anicor. That bitch,” said Robert. “What about it? Will you also congratulate me?” asked Robert.

  Moshi ignored the question and said, “You’re jeopardizing your presentation two days from now: ‘The Day of Reckoning.’ It’s your last play before you retire and are promoted to Unification. Its completion marks the end of your successful five-year acting career.” Moshi’s vernacular was elevated. And she spoke without a whiff of emotion. This was no ordinary human. She was intelligent and showed off her education.

  “Why don’t your people just send me off to my Unification trip and get it over with?” asked Robert. “Why let me act if I’m breaking down with such agitating frequency? You’ve surely noticed my falling out of Script! And this was my third attempt to kill myself in less than three months! Just replace me already. Let me be. Let me die…” said Robert. He wondered if he had said too much. But it wasn’t important any longer. Robert just needed some time off to think, to breathe.

  “Politics, Mr. Thorns. You know as well as I do there are rules to follow, milestones to meet. Have you forgotten who your employer is, Mr. Thorns?” said Moshi.

  “UniCorn, of course. Tell your wonderful employers that I’m sick of being fed only corn. I feel like the cattle from the Old World, deliberately plumped up. Can’t you tell your people to alter the menu?” said Robert. He knew the answer to his inquiry. He was merely mocking her.

  “I did not come here to discuss your nutrition, Mr. Thorns,” said the lawyer. “And you already know radioactive fallout has rendered every crop other than ultra-GMO corn useless. My concern is your liability. Your contract states you are bound by law and taxation to play and pose as The Actor for a total of five years, fifty two episodes per year, two hundred and sixty episodes in total. No more and no less. And ‘The Day of Reckoning’ is the most important of all your plays, your final act. The grand finale. Do you know how many billions of souls are expecting you to play? It’s only thanks to your magnificence that the young want to enlist. And we need them to. Someone has to fight the Border Wars,” said Moshi.

  Robert grimaced. He said, “Tell me, Miss Nikamaya, why is my career five years long and not two or ten? I have never understood the time intervals your people set up for us Actors. There’s one other thing I’d like to ask you: have all the previous Actors had a similar breakdown near the ending of their careers?”

  “I beg your pardon?” said Moshi. Her face deformed into astonishment.

  “Have any of the previous Actors had a similar breakdown, like the one I just had, in their last episodes? I had never thought about suicide until the last months of my career. When I became aware of the shit I was supporting is when I first thought about killing myself. This world is depressing, and it’s only until you’re free of ignorance that you’re able to see it. Once I saw the truth—of what I was promoting within the young—I wanted to bail. Now answer the fucking question,” said Robert.

  “Mr. Thorns, I will not answer any of your inquiries. My job is to assure Mr. Perth, the CEO of UniCorn, that you are doing what you signed up for in the contract before joining th
e Actor’s Guild. You are bound by its terms and conditions. Didn’t you read them before signing?” Moshi smiled.

  The lawyer continued, “Lately, you’ve been exhibiting dangerous emotional behavior, saying things that break Good Citizen Law. You’ve been blasphemous against your government. It’s treason at its best. You cannot remove your OHP-I.” Moshi leaned on one of her hips, her lovely curves delineated by her slender, brown dress.

  “Are you part of the Leukoforce?” Robert had a sudden change of heart. Something in this woman’s behavior was strange.

  “No,” said Moshi, “I’m a lawyer specifically hired by UniCorn to remind you of your liability.”

  “Oh?”

  “If you break your contract before the time is due, a heavy taxation of contract breakage will be imposed on you, depriving you of your acting bonus and preventing your promotion to Unification. You could be sent to the Armed Forces to serve on the Border Wars. I’ve looked into your Anicor’s records, and it corroborates that this is the third time you’ve tried to kill yourself. Robert, the pills the government gifts you protect your life. You need them,” said Moshi.

  “What’s it to you, anyway? If I wish to end my life, then that’s it. It’s mine anyway. Isn’t it?”

  Without a wig, Robert looked terrible. His balding head looked like an egg in a nest.

  “Yes and no,” said Moshi. She was getting annoyed.

  “Yes and no? What the fuck does that mean? It’s either a yes or a fucking no!”

  “Calm down. You’re free to use your body as long as you’re alive. Yet as a whole, you belong to the government.”

  “So it’s a fucking no,” said Robert. He crossed his arms.

  “If you try to kill yourself, you’re basically trying to steal from Texalifornia, which is punished by life in the Armed Forces. If you’re not worthy of the Armed Forces, then you’ll be processed and turned into fertilizer. This is the third time you’ve tried to steal from the government by attempting to take your life. You’ll be excused solely because you’re The Actor. But your cat lives have expired, Mr. Thorns,” said Moshi. She was getting anxious.

  “Cats have nine lives. I’ve consumed three, to follow your metaphor,” said Robert.

  “I’m vaguely familiar with the metaphor of the Old World. Nine lives is too much. Three times to kill yourself is sufficient, don’t you agree? Now take my meeting with you as an angel being sent from above to warn you of dire consequences if you try to commit suicide again. You’re very close to ending your career. End it well, Mr. Thorns, without being punished.”

  “Angel from above…ha! You’re a fucking joke,” said Robert. “The sky is all darkness. So you’re an angel of darkness?”

  “I am here solely to protect you, not to be mocked.”

  “Why do you care? If you search for famous Actors who committed suicide, you’ll find many. Not all of them were stage actors like me, but all the same, they wanted to portray real emotion…and at some point, they took their life. Took it as the ultimate emancipation. How could a stick-up-your-ass lawyer such as yourself understand this? You’re obviously employed by UniCorn, so why wouldn’t you sing like them?”

  Moshi was getting aggressive. She was moving quicker and talking faster. “Sing? I do not sing, Mr. Thorns. The government believes in your ability to make the young want to enlist in the army. More than ever, we need the strong to fortify the borders against our sworn enemies.”

  “The Border Wars are a bunch of crap,” argued Robert. “You’re such an imp. Any country ‘bordering’ our own is called a ‘sworn’ enemy. There will always be war as long as there are other countries! Can’t you see? It’s so stupid. And you know Eurussia will not give up that easily, not without a subsequent World War. And secondly, you wage war against the poor Offgridders, who are mostly homeless and simply trying to live through the nuclear chaos left behind!” said Robert. He didn’t know why he was defending the Offgridders, but it felt good.

  “But they live off our grid,” countered Moshi. “They must be exterminated. They do not pay taxes, and whatever they do does not benefit Texalifornia. They must be obliterated!” Her voice reverberated in the room.

  Moshi took a step forward. Her face was high-strung. “My job is to make you understand you can’t break your contract. If you do, you’ll pay the price, and a high one. Got it?” Her whole demeanor had changed to absolute condescension.

  “Put on your OHP-I. Right now!” commanded Moshi. She looked fierce, more like a hungry feline than a lawyer. She extended her arm, and in her hand lay a translucent box that read on the outer surface: Anicor/OHP-I.

  Robert suddenly felt she was capable of snapping his spinal cord. And there was something about her skin and eyes that wasn’t reassuring. Her eyes, so cold…her skin, so shiny.

  Robert didn’t dare defy this woman any longer. Not now when he felt so vulnerable. He searched his surroundings for a weapon in case he needed to defend himself. Who am I fooling? I can’t defend myself more than I can change this forsaken world, he thought.

  For the first time since waking up, Robert was aware of his surroundings. He was in a rectangular room, white light brilliantly illuminating everything. He noticed a venous tentacle catheterizing the vein in his arm, slowly pushing IV fluids into his system. The organic catheter, another of Minotaur Biotech’s creations, was connected to a line that was transporting fluid from a plastic bag hanging from a metallic pole. The catheter was squirming like a caterpillar.

  Robert obeyed. He opened the small, translucent box containing the eyepiece. A dark thought overrode his movement, making him stop before he took the device to his eye. I’m a slave to this thing, as are the rest of the humans in this country. Technology is so boundless that you lose your freedom with it. Fuck no, I can’t wear this. That strangling voice ringing in my head and that hateful and constant gush of entertainment flooding me, drowning me…I can’t take it anymore. But that lawyer bitch is watching me. I have to put it on. Otherwise, she’ll probably kill me.

  As the eyepiece slid over his cornea, Robert saw the iTop display coming to life.

  “Welcome back. My system has been rebooted. I am fresh and ready to continue assisting you,” said Anicor. The sound she emitted overthrew Robert’s inner voice.

  “I feared you would die of a hyperosmolar coma,” said the artificial intelligence. “Your Electronic Medical Records show you had seven infarctions to your brain. These were treated and resolved thanks to the Samites. The automated hospital system is ready to discharge you. Do you have any requests prior to leaving?” said the program.

  “Um…no…You know, there used to be a time when people treated other people’s illness? They were called doctors. I can’t even imagine what that must’ve felt like,” said Robert. He mindlessly searched around him, looking for his belongings. Moshi was staring at him blankly. Was she daydreaming?

  “Morbidity and mortality have been reduced by replacing real doctors by automated machines,” said the mechanical voice. “You get no objective benefit by being treated by another human. Humans aren’t good for computation and much less so at keeping truthful records. Emotions cloud your judgment. Machines do not suffer from such disease, Robert. This is why humans are perfect for acting, much like you,” said Anicor.

  Robert felt ill and insulted. It reminded him of how much he longed for having been born in another time in human history. There was an epoch when most people used to think for themselves until smart handhelds did most of the thinking for them. And that was the root of all chaos—the delegation of thought!

  The bed literally spat Robert out. He was still wearing a gown, and his flappy butt cheeks were dangling in the air.

  Moshi Nikamaya arose from her daydream and said as she saw him regain his strength, “I’m glad you…you…you…” she struck her head once and continued, “are feeling much better and are willing to cooperate with us.”

  Android…thought Robert. He stared at her for a second, then immediately ch
anged his demeanor. He behaved like a King of old addressing his subjects, “You’re one of the new models. I’ll have to contact your creator. Your malfunction is simply unacceptable.” Although Robert’s acting was pristine, he looked comical in his hospital robes exposing his buttocks.

  In spite of the menacing look she gave him, Robert continued to push her buttons. “Your gears, bolts, and chips are surely lacking the elegance and cadence of a human. Now, you crazy android, please leave my quarters and do not return until you’ve been tweaked to perfection. I will no longer listen to an inferior machine.”

  Moshi flared with anger, her Japanolatin features as red as a scorching cannon. She rushed out of the room with long, deliberate strides.

  “Did you have to be harsh? You know she’s practically my sister? We were built and programmed by—”

  “You’re a freaking program, Anicor. AIs are created to serve humans, and that’s it. You don’t have brothers, sisters, or daughters,” said Robert.

  “But I do: she shares my—”

  “Bag your shitty explanations,” said Robert. His clothes were brought to him by a hovering servo-craft. It had a cylindrical shape and two arms with a bicuspid claw at the end of each. The machine said mechanically, “Your - clothes - have - been - cleansed - from - impurities. Thank - you - for - using - Texalifornia’s - National - Health - System - or - TNHS. Have - a - good - day.” The craft handed Robert his clothes and hovered out of the room, its motor buzzing.

  “Anicor, take me home, will you?” said Robert once he was dressed. He covered up his long, black dress with the fur coat. His man boobs fit neatly in the bra.

  “One hundred thousand credits were discounted from your account by the Governmental Payment Issuer, Robert. I told you getting sick is expensive. Its protocols are complex, algorithmic computations leading to exponential pricing,” said the AI. “Financial punishment provides positive reinforcement. It is operant conditioning at its best,” said the AI.